When you're gone
by Myley
Summary: A tribute to the Weasley twins. George is meditating beside his brother's grave. ONESHOT.


**ONESHOT, a tribut to the Weasley twins for JK Rowling forgot too much about them, and she DARED kill Fred ! Shame on her ! And then, never mention again poor George... Tss... Awful...**

**I wrote this fic listening to Lord of the Rings soundtrack (Evenstar - Howard Shore) so it's not cheerful. Started with the French version, now you've got the English one.  
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_Frederick Weasley, 1978-1998_

_You were my shining star and the light of my day._

I missed you when you're gone. I missed you so bad. You know, I felt when you passed away. It is weird, because I was not there, but I felt a part from of me torn apart, I felt the shiver and the hole. You dead, it was like missing a bend and falling down a ravine. And the darkness came. And the fear. And your loss.

No one can have more than their due. But I wanted to live forever, and to live beside you, and always have you smiling at me in the morning. Without you, I am nothing left, just half of a whole, half of a broken circle. Before you died, I never really realised how much we were bound. We were One. One soul in two bodies. Twins, one person born in double. Same appearance, same tastes, same thoughts, same me. Interchangeable. And I am looking at your grave as if I did not see it. Now that you're gone, everything is so distant and so dull. Yet, as strange as it could seem, I cannot cry.

We had been laughing for twenty fucking years. And the minutes feel like days if you're not here with me. I fucking miss you. Never been serious, or once in a life. Alive, acting the fool, and smiling as dead. Your death is a non amusing prank, Fred. It has frozen all over me, and taken all my joy and light away. All those carefree years are too high a price to pay. Why does laughing deserve such a punishment ? What have we done wrong ? I fucking miss you. Did they have to cut me in two ? Did they really have to pull my wing away so I would be into the motion ? Why did you die ? Be reassured guys, I won't be carefree again. You took my laughs and tears in your death, and I buried them as I did you. Buried all the emotions we used to share. I'm just thinking about rejoining you, to see your smile, and to see myself. To get back my second wing. Now they've taken you away, they might as well take me. Put me anywhere for I don't care. Put me anywhere and throw away the key.

I thought us immortal. The Weasley Twins, like a God name, eternal, unchanging, invincible. And I find myself punished twice. You away, me still here. I miss you, Fred. With you it was never feeling any pain, never feeling any fear. And I used to live every single minute on this Earth. Now I feel a cold decay crawling over me. Just one mere minute, and all my faith vanished. They killed two birds with the same stone. And when I'm guessing, to lose you was so easy, like drinking a little more. I don't even realise you are _dead_, I cannot understand the meaning of the word. And I am looking at your grave, I imagine your corpse beneath the stone. But I don't realise. I don't understand. You cannot be dead ! You cannot be ! It's impossible !

"Ya hear me Fred ? It's impossible !"

And there I am. Speaking alone and aloud in the graveyard. Am I to fall into madness ? Talking with a mirror to get my lost reflection back ? I'll call it Fred, and I'll live with it. God, it's getting cold.

"George ?"

I feel a hand on my shoulder. It's Bill, and his eyes are red by the cries he shed. And my own eyes are so dry, I'm the one who should cry, and I don't ! Isn't it ironic ?

"Come on, don't stay here alone."

"He'll be back. I know there's nothing under the stone. Nothing, Bill. It's a trap ! Another Fred's prank ! He's not dead ! He's not ! It's not possible ! He's fine !

I look crazy and I know it. Bill's gaze is sad, and he tightens his grip. There's a light of madness in my fading eyes. I'm feverish and hysterical, and I know it. _He'll be back_. Just I refuse to admit you are _dead_.

"No, George. He won't."

"Yes he will ! He... He will... If I'm here, that means he can't be far ! We can't be separated ! And you know it, don't ya ? If one of the Weasley Twins is somewhere, then his other half is never very far ! If Fred were really dead, then I wouldn't be here neither ! I wouldn't...

And reality hits me, I get aware I'll never see you again. Never see you again. I'm on my own, the left one. You're gone, and it's irreparable. _Never_. _Gone_. Weird feeling that is to understand _death_. Even more when it's yours.

And I collapse in Bill's arms. Tears spread through my cheeks, at last. You _are_ dead, you left me, and never will be back.

- You were not allowed to leave me here ! HEAR ME FRED ? NOT ALLOWED TO ! You promised me. Forever. Together. I HATE YOU ! I WISH I NEVER KNEW YA ! Don't leave me.

Dunno who I'm talking to, you, or Bill who's holding me. And I cry, I cry more tears that I possess. I cry the tears I should have shed when I saw you on the floor.

Someone is walking to us, all the siblings left actually. The five ones, Ron, Charlie, Percy and Ginny. Just you are missing, even if you are sleeping there, under my feet. Somehow, we are all together.

"He's not really dead, George" Ron whispers. "He keeps living in you. When I look at you, I see him, and I see you. As long as you'll live, he will. In a way..."

I never thought Ron could tell such beautiful things. I look at my family and my heart hurts, it's trying to beat in the hole you made. Eventually, I smile at Ron for his comforting words.

I watch your grave one last time.

_You were my shining star and the light of my day_.

No one can have more than their due. And I wanted to live forever with you. I missed you when you're gone. I miss you so bad. I wish that I could see you again, but I know now I can't. They took you somewhere you're not coming back. And I'll have to keep living alone. And I'll try to live for both of us, to live for you, to carry your memory. I know it won't last long, for it's too hard to bear. If someday I've a son, he will be Fred.

As Charlie holds me to leave all the six together, I think to hear a whisper wavering in the air.

"_Laugh again for me, George"_

Never knew if I had dreamt. I miss you.


End file.
